Val Muller

The Electronic Wordsmith

Browsing Posts published by Val

Read this book if you want to be kept in suspense, and have your blood raging and your fists clenched.

Kyra is a thirteen-year-old girl who lives in a cult called The Chosen Ones. We hear the story from her point of view, so we’re limited in our understanding of the cult. We learn, however, that it’s a polygamist cult; her father has several wives and many, many children. He rotates which house (trailer) to stay at each week. Kyra has several problems living in the cult: multiple wives often become jealous of each other and fears becoming one herself; “The God Squad” is always watching (with guns) for dissent; one of her passions, reading (by sneaking books from a mobile library) is forbidden; she is in love with a boy her own age within the cult; and she has been “chosen” to marry her uncle of 50+ years.

I have mentioned before that I have a preference for books written in the past tense; this one was written in the present tense, which annoyed me until I became drawn into the story. I did enjoy the book, and it kept me on edge, but I felt that the cult wasn’t creepy enough because it was almost too obvious. I’ll admit that I’m no expert on cults, but I wanted to know a little more about the adults in the cult—why they joined in the first place, or why their parents joined in the first place. I also wanted to know more about why/how the authorities didn’t intervene earlier.

I’ll also admit that I’m not super religious, but I would have liked to see maybe a few Bible verses (the Bible was all they were allowed to read) to see how the cult leaders were corrupting the intended spirit of the Bible—Kyra is well-read and smart enough to see such hypocrisy, and I think that would have added more depth about how different groups are able to distort the true spirit of religion. For someone whose whole life was dictated by “religion,” I wanted to see a bit more of it. This would have helped add complexity to the book.

Overall, though, it’s a fast, suspenseful read for young adults. I could see this book acting as a hook, fostering interest in studying cults in terms of helping those who have been drawn in.


 

This book is one of the 2014-15 Loudoun County Battle of the Books selections. The selections are as follows. Since The Scarred Letter was chosen as one of the selections, I will be attending the competition and will also be reading the rest of the selections. Books I’ve reviewed from this list are hyperlinked:

 

 

Welcome to the Spot Writers. This week’s prompt is to write something about boats. Author Val Muller decided to incorporate her favorite holiday, Halloween, as well as some deeply-embedded memories of watching Garfield’s Halloween special with her sister. You can find out more about Val, including information about her soon-to-be-released Corgi Capers: Curtain Calls and Fire Halls, at www.ValMuller.com.

Halloween at Ball’s Bluff

By Val Muller

Laura slid down the path, dropping her flashlight against a rock. The light went out.

“Damn. Where’s your flashlight?”

Mary flicked hers on. “Are you hurt?”

Laura held her ankle. “Just bruised, I think.” She pulled herself up, groaning. “Flashlight’s busted. Now we’re down to one. Spooky enough for you?”

Mary couldn’t help but smile. “That is why we came here.” Balls Bluff closed at dusk, but it was easy to sneak in. The wind whispered through the trees, and all around animals skittered through dried leaves. It was too dark to see them, and Mary’s skin rose to gooseflesh under her fleece jacket.

She loved it.

“Next Halloween, I’d be happy to settle down with a glass of wine on your back porch.”

“Boring.” Mary giggled. “Come on. Let’s keep hiking.”

Laura groaned again. “Just don’t bust that other flashlight.”

“I won’t.”

Laura scrambled after her sister. “I’d rather be eating bite-sized chocolates.”

“This is more fun. Besides, chocolate goes on sale starting tomorrow. I promise I’ll take you to Walmart and buy you two whole bags.”

“Maybe an ice pack for my ankle, too.”

“Deal.” Mary continued down the path. “Watch your step here. It gets pretty steep.”

“No kidding.”

“During the Civil War—almost around Halloween—there was a battle here. Soldiers didn’t know how steep this drop-off was, and they fell down the cliffs.” Mary held the flashlight under her chin and turned to her sister, making her voice ghostly. “Fell to their deaths!”

“Not funny,” Laura huffed.

“Come on.” Mary laughed. “Remember how fun Halloween was when we were little? Those gaudy-but-spooky lawn decorations? All that fake spider webs? Those people at the cul-de-sac who played a repeating spooky music track with witches cackling and wolves howling all night?”

“Mom and Dad said we had to come in from trick-or-treating when they turned off the music.”

“Which wasn’t until like 10:00 those days.”

“Now that I live in the middle of nowhere, there are no trick-or-treaters anymore. No one carves jack-o-lanterns. All the kids go to malls and church parking lots. Trunk-or-treat has taken all the scare out of it. Besides, everyone goes around as Disney characters now. Not as anything spooky.”

“Oh, come on, Mar. You went as a Disney character.”

“Once. And I was like four.”

“Five.”

“Fine.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to recapture that sense of prickling fear—and fun—that we used to have during Halloween. I remember drawing skeletons and pumpkins, witches and ghosts for months, it seemed like, just waiting for Halloween. I think I drew a haunted house in art class every day for a week. Don’t you miss that?”

In the distance, something growled.

“What was that?” Laura asked.

Mary shrugged. “Nothing worse than the animals living around my house.”

“But that wasn’t scary enough for you. You had to drag me all the way out here.”

“Come on. Remember when we were little? How scared we’d get this time of year? The chill in the air. The damp smell of leaves. And remember that one year—the weird van pulled up near us and kept chanting?”

“We ran to the next house and asked them to call the cops for us.”

Mary smiled. “Those were the days. Being scared was fun. I thought tonight could recreate that. Otherwise, Halloween seems like just another day.”

“You thought you could create that by trespassing after dark. Look at us, two grown-ups acting like teenagers.”

“Who you calling a grown-up?”

Laura grabbed Mary’s shoulder. “It’s steep here, though. I think we might fall to our deaths. Like those poor soldiers you were talking about. And if we did fall, we’d freeze before morning.”

“It’s not that cold.”

“Hypothermia doesn’t take much more than this.”

Mary pointed her flashlight down the trail. “Let’s just go down to the river. Then we can turn back. Besides, I’ve heard there are others who sneak in here at night. They have fires near the river. A Halloween celebration. I see remains of campfires when I hike here during the day.”

“I thought I smelled smoke.”

“Like I said—”

“Not that kind of smoke.”

Mary shrugged. “It is Halloween.”

Laura bit her lip. “And some of us have to work tomorrow. Alright, sis. A walk down to the river. Then we turn around and drive home. And you buy me a hot chocolate on the way back to my place.”

“Deal.”

The girls continued down the trail. The ground was damp, making the wet leaves slick against the trail. They took turns sliding, their pant legs and hands getting muddier by the minute. With only one flashlight between them, the hike was slow.

“What was your favorite Halloween movie?” Laura asked as she navigated a sloping turn.

“I think The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown has to be the best, hands-down. Right? I mean, who hasn’t heard of the great pumpkin?”

“I always like the Garfield Halloween special.”

“True. That pirate scene terrified us.”

“It wasn’t a pirate that scared you. It was an old man.”

“He was an old man, but he was also a pirate.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. And he escaped in that row boat, didn’t he?”

“I remember a row boat. And those pirate-ghosts…”

“I’m surprised Mom and Dad let us watch it.”

“When it cut to that old pirate-man…”

“You always screamed.”

“Shut up.”

“Squealed like a child.”

“I was a child.” Mary laughed. “But you’re right. That scene gave me nightmares for years.”

“I used to imagine we were Garfield and Odie, and we took out a little row-boat into the middle of nowhere, mistakenly looking for Halloween candy.”

“Candy, candy, candy!” Mary joked. “You always loved candy.”

Something growled in the woods. Mary froze. Laura ran into her.

“What was that?”

“Don’t know.”

“Turn out the light.”

“Turn it out?”

“Whatever’s out there, we can’t see it. We don’t want it to see us.”

Mary turned out the light. The moon was barely more than a crescent, and it allowed just enough light for Mary to see the faint outline of her sister. The thing growled again, and something squealed. The sound of flesh tearing. And then sloppy slurping. Something was eating.

“I think I’ve had enough scaring for one night,” Laura whispered. “Let’s go back.”

“The thing—whatever it is—is between us and the car. I don’t think it’s safe to go back that way. The trail is too steep. If we had to, we’d never outrun it.”

“What, then?”

“We go the long way. We’re almost at the river. The path continues along the river until it turns upward.”

“Let me guess. Steep and dangerous?”

“Yes.”

The thing growled again. Mary’s heart pounded, and Laura clutched her arm, digging her nails in. “What is it?”

“I don’t know,” Mary said.

A scurrying of leaves revealed the thing running closer.

“It’s after us!”

Mary threw on the light and hurried to the Potomac.

“Find some of those people partying with campfires,” Laura huffed. “Or the ones partying without campfires, for that matter. Just find someone.”

“Help!” Mary called.

But no one answered, and the thing sounded closer, its breathing raggedy and marked by growls.

At the bottom of the trail, the river opened up. There was not a campfire to be seen, but the moon reflected on the rippling river. “Where is everybody?”

“Maybe they were afraid the cops would be out on Halloween. I swear I thought there would be at least some teenagers looking for trouble. I’d take a cop at this point. He could arrest me—as long as he got rid of whatever that is.”

Whatever it was kept growling, and Mary turned quickly, shining her light at the growls. Laura dashed behind her. The thing looked ragged, a large dog—maybe a wolf—snarling at them, foaming at the mouth.

“It looks rabid.”

“Don’t touch it.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Scared enough yet?”

“Shut up.”

“This is your fault. I’m writing that on my tombstone.”

“Get into the river.”

“What?”

“I don’t think rabid animals like to swim.”

“What?”

“Just get in the river.”

“Hypothermia.”

“Rabid werewolf.”

“It’s not a werewolf.”

“Shut up.”

The thing snarled once more and charged, and the girls headed for the river without a second thought. Mary swiped at the darkness with her flashlight, but the night seemed to fold in over her.

“Help!” she cried. “Isn’t anyone there? Please!”

But only the creature’s frantic movement through the leaves answered her.

“Look!” Laura cried.

“What?”

“Shine your flashlight at the river!”

Mary did. There, waiting on the shore, was a small rowboat.

“Just like in the cartoon!” Mary and Laura grasped hands. “Should we?”

The light rippled against the river, and the moon smiled down overhead from behind a veil of clouds. Cold air prickled like magic in the air, and the water lapped against the boat, beckoning, calling the sisters to one more Halloween adventure.

 

The Spot Writers—our members:

RC Bonitz: http://www.rcbonitz.com

 

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

 

Catherine A. MacKenzie: http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

 

Kathy Price: http://www.kathylprice.com

The Raft is a survival tale told from the point of view of a teenager named Robie, who lives on the Midway Atoll (in the Pacific). While visiting her aunt on Hawaii, Robie decides to go home early and takes a cargo flight home. But she is not recorded on the manifest, and the plane goes down in bad weather. Max, the co-pilot, saves her by flinging her out of the plane. They land on the life raft in shark-infested waters with a bag of Skittles and very little else. I won’t spoil the rest of the story J

I enjoyed the voice. Told in first person, the story was engaging and a fast read. I read it in two sittings. There is a twist to the story, which I figured out right away, but a younger or more inexperienced reader may not have caught the clues. Even having figured out the twist, I enjoyed the plot. The only disappointment was that I wanted a bit more “survival” details thrown in. Growing up, I was an avid Gary Paulsen reader, and I loved all the survival details he added to his stories. I thought Robie was too decisive in throwing away or ignoring items that could be useful in a life-saving situation. Her character, however, was more focused on accomplishing brave deeds than on showing off her survival skills.


 

This book is one of the 2014-15 Loudoun County Battle of the Books selections. The selections are as follows. Since The Scarred Letter was chosen as one of the selections, I will be attending the competition and will also be reading the rest of the selections. Books I’ve reviewed from this list are hyperlinked:

 

 

 

Welcome to the Spot Writers. The prompt for this month is to write about a boat. Today’s contribution comes from RC Bonitz, author of A BLANKET FOR HER HEART. This post comes from the opening of his current work in progress.

The Live-aboards

by RC Bonitz

She’d had it with her father and the barflies he’d been presenting. Why he thought she’d marry one of them she did not know. Though even her Mom no longer called them louts and lunkheads. Her Mom wanted a grandchild in the worst way. That wasn’t likely to happen. No way, she’d never marry one of the so-called men on this island.

The smell of fresh baked muffins and roti filled the shop as she pulled the last of the mango cakes from the oven. She starts baking before the sun comes up and then opens the shop at 7:00 when her Mom comes in to help. Today she just had to take a walk to burn off her frustration. Daddy had presented a proposal from Henry last night, for the third bloody time. How many ways did she have to say no before they both got the message?

She plopped her apron on the counter, left the shop open so Helen could get in, and set off toward the docks. It was a beautiful morning, the sun low in a golden summer sky and the sea calm with very little swell. Tourists would flock aboard the ferry today and they’d be busy at the shop.
Passing Mumford’s Book Shop (owned by Patti, her best friend) and Ceaser’s Marine Store (he was at least sixty and married or her Dad would be pushing him at her you could bet), she was quickly on the docks. Most of the fishing boats went out before dawn, but Henry’s hadn’t left yet. He couldn’t be waiting for her answer? After two rejections he thought he had a chance? He was nowhere to be seen though, so maybe she could relax for a few minutes before he…

A sailboat bobbed quietly at the gas dock. An unusual looking boat it was, with complicated cruising rigging and a sleek modern hull more likely to be used in round the buoys racing. It had that kind of rumpled tired look of a well-used live-aboard.
The hatch slid back a little bit as she was about to hail the boat. Then it slid back a little more. There was life aboard the live-aboard. The hatch-board disappeared below and a child stuck his head out, saw her and smiled. About six years old, he put a finger to his lips and climbed out on the deck.

“Hi,” he said softly. “Daddy’s sleeping.”

She assumed that meant she shouldn’t wake the man, but she had other ideas. She was the harbormaster as well as a shop owner, you see, and his Daddy had to move that boat. People needed access to the gas pumps, especially early in the morning. The man also had to supervise the child, or else the mother did.

“Your daddy needs to wake up. He has to move your boat,” she told him and then she noticed he had no life jacket on. Some parents were so lax with their kids. What if he fell overboard? “You need to find a life jacket.”

He shook his head. “I can swim.”

“You need to wear one. It’s the law,” she insisted.

The hatch slid open all the way and a sleepy-eyed male head appeared, blonde hair all askance. “What’s going on Emma?” he mumbled.
She did a double take at that. Emma? The child looked like a boy with a boy’s haircut and clothes. Emma, definitely a girl’s name. Oh well, to each his own. “Your daughter has no life jacket. You need to put one on her.”

He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Emma’s a good swimmer. She doesn’t need one.”

“It’s the law. And you need to move this boat.” And dress her like a girl.

“After breakfast,” he muttered, and turned to go below again.

This man was so—insufferable. Lackadaisical, arrogant, whatever. “You can’t cook at the gas dock.”

“I know that,” he shot back and came up to stare at her again, this time awake and alert.

“Life jacket, no cooking, move the boat,” she snapped.

“You got any other demands you want to dump on us this morning?” he growled, giving her an evil glare. He intended to ignore her; she could see it in his eyes. Men.

She drew herself up to her very imposing five-foot-six inch stature and gave the man her fiercest imitation of a scowl. “I’m the Harbormaster. You better pay attention.”

He blinked and broke out in a genuine smile, then emerged from the hatch and stepped on deck. Bare-chested, he wore only a tattered pair of cargo shorts. Which revealed a barrel chest and lots of sculpted muscles. Took her breath away he did. Almost. He was still a jerk.

“Sorry, Cap’n,” he said. “We’ll move right away. If you’d like to tell us where to move to?”

She almost said “call me Master, not Captain”, but didn’t want to push her luck. As long as he did what he was told. “Dock C. There are two empty slips. Take your pick. Then come up to Lissey’s to register and pay up.” Official pronouncement completed, she turned on her heel.

“Lissey’s? Where’s that?” he called after her.

She wheeled back around to face him. “At the end of the dock, just past the bookstore. The coffee shop.”

“They serve breakfast?”

“Breakfast and lunch.”

He nodded, still smiling. “No dinner?”

“You want The Sea Horse Grill for that.” she started to leave, then remembered one more thing. “Get a life jacket on her too.”

“She can swim half a mile without breathing hard,” he insisted.

“I don’t care. It’s the law.”

“How far can you swim?”

“That’s none of your business,” she growled. The nerve. He wouldn’t be such a smart-ass to another man.

“I think you should wear a life jacket when you’re on these docks. You might fall in,” he said with a smirk

Damn the man. “These docks are my front yard. I’m on them all the time.”

“This deck is Emma’s front yard. She’s on it every day,” he said, eyes boring into hers.

Stubborn jerk. Probably right about his daughter though. But, the law was the law. And his attitude was terrible. “Every time I see her without a life jacket, it’ll cost you twenty-five dollars. Consider this time a freebie and a warning.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you the welcoming committee on this island? Chamber of Commerce rep?”

Lissey frowned. What kind of a question was that? “No. I told you, I’m the Harbormaster.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. You had me confused there for a minute,” he muttered. “Emma, start the engine. I’ll tend the lines.”

“I’ll free up your lines,” she offered. He wanted the child to operate the boat? The man was an idiot.

“Thanks, but we don’t need you,” he snapped.

The Spot Writers- our members.
RC Bonitz

http://www.rcbonitz.com

Val Muller

https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie

http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Kathy Price

http://www.kathylprice.com

This review contains minor spoilers.

I heard much praise about this book before I decided to read it, and I think all the praise I heard built it up in my mind, which left me slightly disappointed. The book follows a (sort of) magical circus that travels the world and opens only at night. The circus, and the story behind it, is shrouded in mystery. We later learn that two of the main people involved in the circus, Celia and Marco, are bound to keep it running as part of a sick competition initiated by Celia’s father and Marco’s mentor.

First, the wonderful: Morgenstern uses amazing imagery and figurative language. The first few chapters had me hooked, and the imagery brought me into the world of the circus. The main conflict—Celia and Marco being placed in a competition by their mentors (and against their will) was compelling at the start. Writing teachers could find lots of effective passages to teach descriptive writing.

The problem was, the tension loosened considerably after the first few chapters, and although the descriptions were still nice to read, I felt that the book dragged in the middle. The book picked up in the last fifty pages, but by that time, I was irritated at the dragging middle, feeling that I was wasting my time. Don’t get me wrong—I did enjoy the ending and the way all the characters came together. In fact, I can see the rich imagery working well if the book were turned into a high-budget film. But the fact that it took me so long to get through the middle made me feel relieved to reach the end, which I think dampened the effect the otherwise magical ending would have had on me.

I have mentioned before in my reviews that I do not prefer books written in present tense. This story is told in present tense—but this is merely a personal preference. The tense seemed to bother me more when the book slowed, as I diverted my attention to tense rather than plot. If I were stuck on a desert island and had no other pressing business to attend to, I would enjoy the slower pace of The Night Circus. I feel, however, that I could have skipped large chunks of the middle and still understood the story without missing much (or anything). Cinematic quality–yes. Plot–not as much.

Criticism aside, Morgenstern is definitely a talented author, and I look forward to seeing what else she has up her sleeve.

Welcome to Spot Writers! This month’s prompt was to write a story about a car.

 

The MGA

by Kathy L. Price

 

The midnight blue MGA had been selected as “Car of the Week” and, as such, sat in the premier location at the front of the showroom. The turntable in the floor slowly rotated the MG so passersby could view the little sports car from all angles. Since the dealership was located on the corner of Orange Grove and Colorado Boulevards in the middle of downtown Pasadena, California, it was attracting a lot of attention. The top was down to show off her black leather interior and wooded dash which boasted a plethora of gages. Professionally detailed and highly waxed, she sparkled in the sunlight that streamed through the windows.

“Now, that’s the kind of car you should be driving,” said Ray.

“Yeah, right, Dad,” Ron had replied. “There’s no way I could ever afford anything like that. Even if I had enough money to buy the car, I’d never be able to pay for the insurance.”

Running his hand over the fender, Ron allowed himself to daydream just a little about what it would be like to drive it, to own it. Imagine the jealous looks he would get when he pulled into the parking lot at school. The only way he’d be able to transport his surfboard would be to leave the top down and stand it up in the front seat. He wouldn’t be able to take anyone else with him, but what a way to get to the beach.

For the past several months, Ron had been in the market for a new car. His old ’52 Plymouth, given to him by his grandmother, was on its last legs. It was requiring more and more maintenance to keep it on the road so he knew he had to get something soon.

Ron and his friend, Chester, like to go on road rallys, a popular past-time in the car culture of Southern California, and Ron had found a Simca Arondi for sale in the paper for $725. He thought it’d be perfect. It was rear engine, rear wheel drive and was a popular car on the rally circuit in Europe. Ron had gone over to take a look at it, decided he’d buy it, and had given the owner a deposit check. Then his dad had come home from a business trip.

The two of them rarely had much personal interaction. Ray had been brought up in a very strict, conservative Welsh family where affection was not part of the dynamic. His attitude was that raising children was the responsibility of the mother. It was the man’s role to provide for the family, to “bring home the bacon.” As a business owner and the principle salesman, Ray was away so often, Ron had grown up and learned to get by without him. Now, at seventeen, Ron was extremely independent. On the rare occasions when Ray was at home, there was a lot of friction in the house. That particular afternoon, when Ray showed an interest in what was going on in Ron’s life, when he seemed interested in what kind of car Ron was driving, it was something of a mystery.

“Come on,” Ray had said, when he heard about the Simca. “You’re throwing your money away on a car like that. We’ll get your deposit back and go look at a real car.”

Ron didn’t want to lose the Simca but his dad was insistent.

“Just go with him,” his mother, Betty, had pleaded. “He isn’t home that often so it’s not like you do a lot of father/son things together. Letting him help you find a car would be a nice thing for the two of you to do.”

To keep the peace, Ron reluctantly agreed. Before they left the house, though, Ray asked Betty to go with them. She tried to get out of it by saying she had too much to do. She wasn’t all that interested in looking at cars and she didn’t wanted to interfere, but Ray insisted. They all piled into the family car and headed out. When Ray pulled into Peter Santori’s Imported Motorcars in Pasadena, Ron couldn’t understand why.

Santori’s specialized in top-of-the-line British cars. They sold Bentleys and Land Rovers, Jaguars and cars by Rolls-Royce. Everything on the lot was well beyond what Ron could even dream of owning.

As it turned out, the blue 1960 MGA featured in the showroom had been taken in on trade. It was in mint condition and while they were checking it out, Ray said, “I think you should get this one. Let’s take it for a test drive.”

“Dad, I told you I can’t afford it,” Ron replied, a little angry his dad would even suggest such a thing. Ron was going to college and only worked part-time for minimum wage. He barely made enough to pay for his books and gas. Still, what would it hurt to take her for a spin around the block?

It was fantastic. She handled like a dream and zipped around the corners. Still, Ron couldn’t get too excited, knowing it was well beyond his means.

When they got back to the dealership, Ray continued to talk up the MGA. Finally, he said, “I’ll make up the difference in the payments and cover your insurance.”

Unbelievable. This was so out-of-character for his dad. What was going on? Ron was suspicious but didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Hey, if his dad was willing to pick up part of the tab, he’d love to have the MGA. The Simca had more room and got far better fuel mileage but come on, there was no contest. The deal was made, the papers signed, and Ron couldn’t believe his good fortune. The car was his.

The salesman handed Ron the keys and as he stood there admiring his new ride, a gleaming white MGA pulled up behind the blue one. What was this? He looked around for his parents and saw Ray and Betty having a rather intense discussion at the other end of the showroom. Finally, Ray walked over, said “I’ll race you home,” got into the white MGA and took off.

Betty ended up driving their ratty old family stationwagon back to the house with steam coming out her ears.

 

 

Our group of contributors:

 

RC Bonitz

http://www.rcbonitz.com

 

Val Muller

https://valmuller.com/blog/

 

Catherine A. MacKenzie

http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

 

Kathy Price

http://www.kathylprice.com

…or “Why I Wrote The Scarred Letter”

Background

A high school English teacher, I taught The Scarlet Letter year after year. For some students (too few), it became a favorite book that they remembered even years after graduating. For others, Hawthorne’s sentence length, ornate language, and complicated concepts made the reading too difficult to complete or appreciate. Early in my teaching career, I decided to write a modernization of the text. Each year as I re-read the book with my students, I kept track of major character arcs and conflicts, themes, and the rich symbolism used by Hawthorne.

I periodically did Internet searches to make sure no one else was writing a modernization. Several years ago, when I learned that a movie “modernization” was being made, I put this project on the back-burner. When Easy A was released in theatres, I was relieved to see that it was not similar to the plot I had in mind, and I continued my project. (In fact, I was disappointed to see that Easy A wasn’t even school appropriate for most districts. Why make a modernized version of Hawthorne’s original if it can’t be shared with high school students?)

When I wrote the modernized version of the tale, I integrated as much of that original essence as possible while still allowing the story to stand independently of Hawthorne’s original. My hope in writing the modernized version was that teachers could use the text as a bridge to help students understand the rich themes and symbols of the original, instilling an appreciation for Hawthorne, one of my favorite authors–but that if it was not possible or practical to teach the original, my story could at least emphasize what I love so much about Hawthorne’s.

What I Love About Hawthorne’s Original

I love the way Hawthorne was obsessed with the Puritans. Having an ancestor involved in the Salem Witch Trials (as a member of the court) scarred him in a permanent way. His obsession makes his writing almost paranoid in its intensity, especially as he examines the internal workings of individuals living within society. The passion comes through in his rich imagery and dense symbolism, which was meant to be quite obvious to readers of his time. But it’s a little much for a modern high school reader: the language is sometimes so dense that Hawthorne’s passion gets lost.

What I wanted to share with modern readers is the strength of Hawthorne’s main character. Hester Prynne’s family in England was forced to marry her to Roger Prynne (who later chooses the name Roger Chillingworth to hide his identity). Hester enjoyed life in England and had no desire to move to the cold, stark Puritan community in the New World. But she is forced to obey her husband, and she is sent ahead of him.

Although she has an affair with Dimmesdale, she does this only after enough time has passed (and evidence presented) to believe that her husband died in a shipwreck. From a social standpoint, she is a sinner. From an unbiased moral standpoint, she has done nothing wrong; in fact, she is a victim of her expected role in society. But she is too strong to be a victim.

Hester chooses to remain in the small Puritan settlement despite her poor treatment by the townspeople. She earns her own living and raises her daughter as she sees fit. She volunteers, and she never snaps back when others treat her poorly. In many ways, she is more “Puritan” than the Puritans. And all this amidst the terrible hypocrisy prevalent in the town. Even when Chillingworth and Dimmesdale become weak and co-dependent, Hester keeps her strength and her identity.

The Danger of Being an Individual

I wanted to capture that strength. In today’s world, few people are brave enough to truly be themselves. Indeed, I often question whether I am being myself at any given time, or if I am simply behaving the way society expects me to behave. Do you ever feel that you are “acting” a part rather than being yourself? In The Scarred Letter, I asked the question: what if someone were uninhibited in being herself… all the time?

Scarred Leter FinalHeather’s father, who during the book is estranged from Heather and her mother, has chosen the more difficult path in life. He is openly honest and insists on the truth. He will not live a lie even in order to bring a family back together. This is something we are not taught to value–as early as kindergarten, I remember being taught the concept of a “white lie.” Heather is truly his daughter, and to the frustration of her mother, she chooses to follow her father’s teachings.

When she finds out about steroid use at her school, she sees Adam acting as her foil. He finds it easier to complain privately and “suck it up” publicly in order to stay under the radar, remaining an accepted part of the team. In The Scarlet Letter, Dimmesdale (sometimes appeared that he) wanted to do the right thing, but he was terrified to stand up against an entire society, even with Hester’s support. Adam is the same way.

Though his experience has created a true crucible for him, Adam’s situation is in many ways what all of us encounter every day. How many of us have silently complained about something, only to give in rather than standing up? I think of examples in history in which people have collectively accepted what they are told, or have feared standing up so that they appear to have accepted an unpleasant truth.

It’s why characters like Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield resonate with me. Though not perfect, they constantly question what they are told and what society values. It’s why I admire characters like Hank Rearden and Howard Roark: they act as individuals without allowing their identities to be influenced by others. It’s why we all adore Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games and Tris Prior from Divergent: they stand up against a system that’s meant to squash individuals, doing what most are terrified to do. These two young women see a system designed to make the individual lose, and they decide not to choose the “lesser of two evils,” but to change the system itself. (How many of us have quietly left the polls on election day, feeling disgusted that, once again, we voted for the lesser of two evils even with the knowledge that the system lends itself to corruption and limited choices?)

Emerson and Thoreau wrote often about the importance of remaining an individual and acting upon one’s own individual values and beliefs. But it seems an inherent trait of humanity that standing out as an individual is less preferred than giving in to the path of least resistance. But what if we lived the way the Transcendentalists advocated? What if we all became Huck Finns or Katniss Everdeens? What if we did not allow ourselves to be so influenced by what everyone else claims to believe? What kind of world would we create?

These are questions I sought to answer in The Scarred Letter. I admire protagonist Heather Primm greatly for her individuality and her strength. If there were more of her in society, I think the world would be a better place.


 

You can read the first four chapters of The Scarred Letter for free here. There’s also a code for a 35% off coupon when ordered directly from the publisher. The Scarred Letter is available in paperback and ebook.

Advertised as “featuring 1,046 must-know vocabulary words,” this supernatural mystery is published by Kaplan and marketed to students wanting to build vocabulary for the SAT. That said, the primary goal of this story is learning words rather than the plot itself. The story follows a high-school junior, Will Lassiter, who lives next door to a creepy old mansion that was once the home of McAllister, the town’s supposedly philanthropic founder. But there are parts of the town’s history that don’t add up, and Will has always been bothered by the creepy mansion after a disturbing childhood incident there.

The story started off slowly, but it built speed at a steady pace. The pages are short because there are footers on each page defining all of the SAT vocabulary used. Most pages contain at least five SAT words. At some points, the words seemed well-integrated into the story. At other times, they were a bit of a stretch. From a narrative perspective, the use of so many SAT words hurt the voice at the beginning of the story, but once the story hooked me (around page 100, probably), the voice and the heavy use of SAT words stopped sticking out.

It was an intriguing mystery, and I was glad that the ghosts in the story are actually real ghosts—rather than the typical Scooby Doo mystery in which someone is dressed up as a ghost. Ghost stories by their nature are compelling to me. I read the book in fifteen-minute increments, during our sustained silent reading period at school, and since the story was easy to access, it fit those reading blocks well.

I would definitely recommend it to anyone wanting to build vocabulary without being tied down to memorizing tedious lists. I knew most of the words in the book, but there were a few I had never encountered before.

This month’s prompt is to write about a car. The story this week comes from Cathy MacKenzie, who has chosen a story from one of her two recently published compilations of short stories titled Paper Patches (short fiction for women). Paper Patches is available from Smashwords for $2.99. Cathy’s second book, Broken Cornstalks, is also available from Smashwords.

 

Shadow Dance

by Cathy MacKenzie

 

At the restaurant, in between mouthfuls of Thai chicken bites and Caesar salad, I take stock of Dan, my husband. I’m startled to notice how much thicker—and darker—his hair seems. Has he dyed his white hair a tawny brown? His face, once etched with deep furrows and spattered with red blotches, is smoother than I remembered. His now-burnished skin glows as if he’s spent too much time outdoors.

When we arrive home, I glimpse my own face in the hall mirror, a face I almost don’t recognize. I stare at the drawn reflection bordered with wispy whitish hair. Crows’ feet fan from the outer corners of my sunken eyes, and fleshy bags perch beneath dwindling lower lashes. My jowls sag like soggy dishrags pinned to the clothesline on a breezeless day.

I sense Dan’s presence and move away from the mirror. He stares at me as if he hasn’t seen me before, just as I seemingly viewed him for the first time earlier at the restaurant. I want to hide my face in shame. Does he see tell-tale age on me? Will he search out someone younger? Or has he already?

Without a word, he turns and sprints to the garage to work on his vehicles, specifically his ’65 Mustang. He cherishes that car, caring for it as a mother would her newborn. I’ve spied on him in the past while he caressed its smooth, firm body. I’ve seen him tenderly slide a soapy cloth across the surface and, after carefully spraying off the suds, lovingly rub on the oil paste as if applying sunscreen over a svelte young woman. I’ve watched while he polished the frame to a radiant sheen.

I often wonder what goes through his mind while he continually kneads an ever-immaculate chassis into gloss shimmering like a new black patent shoe. Does he think of me? Someone else? Or is he too immersed to think of anything?

While I watch his backside vanish down the hall, I debate whether to follow. Instead, I remain in the kitchen and gaze around the recently redecorated room—the stark black granite, the matching stainless steel appliances, the resurfaced cupboard doors—and wonder where life begins and ends. Similar to puffs of smoke on a windy day, my years disappeared too fast. What good are material possessions? What happens to us and to those in our past when we’re gone?

Where will that car go? Who will treasure that vehicle as my husband does?

More importantly, who will cherish me when he’s gone? He’ll depart first. If not, I’m certain I’ll live longer than a dratted car that gobbles up his time and money.

A force of courage propels me to again peer into the mirror. The features are displayed before me, etched for all-time in that rectangle of recently cleaned glass. Mirrors don’t lie—they never did; they never will. My eyes can lower to hide what they don’t want to acknowledge; I can’t be scarred by what I can’t see, but unfortunately, I’ve already seen it. I already know. Tearing out my eyes won’t make the years disappear. Time has taken its rightful place. Obvious age has attached itself, and there’s nothing left once those deadly talons have latched.

Maybe luck would have been on my side had Dan succeeded in blinding me that day many years ago. The searing liquid hit me square in the face but didn’t penetrate into my eyes when, instinctively, they closed tight. No one can touch that car of his—except him, of course; I learned that the hard way.

Perhaps not being blinded was my downfall. Had I been blinded that day, I wouldn’t be able to see today how horribly I’ve morphed over the years. I’d forever remember me when I was twenty-five, when I was still desirable.

What happened a few minutes ago when Dan saw me by the mirror? Did he suddenly encounter an old woman instead of his once-young, pretty wife? Or had he even seen my beauty those many years previously? Perhaps he’s only ever had eyes for his Mustang, for he’s owned that vehicle longer than me. That car’s family, after all. Not to mention the car has retained its beauty and grace throughout the years; its appearance has never changed, thanks to his meticulousness.

I sneak down the hallway and open the door to the off-limits garage. The Mustang leers at me—the headlights glare and the grill sneers like fangs. The body shines as one titanic twinkling star, revealing reflections of youth and lust. At the far end of the triple-car garage, Dan holds a blow torch, hard at work on an old Chevy. He doesn’t hear the door’s creak nor does he see me enter the forbidden room.

When I stumble over a pile of car parts, I lunge to the Mustang rather than tumble to the concrete, where I would chance a bone fracture.

The racket jars Dan from his intense labours. “What you doin’!” he shrieks. “Get off my car!”

I jump back. But it’s too late. My body and greasy fingerprints have marred the gloss of his favourite friend. Within mere seconds, before I realize he’s leaped in front of me, I feel the heat—hotter than anything I’ve ever experienced previously.

“Take that, you.…” The rest of his words are garbled. Someone else might have been able to decipher them, but not me.

 

The Spot Writers:

 

RC Bonitz

http://www.rcbonitz.com

 

Val Muller

https://valmuller.com/blog/

 

Catherine A. MacKenzie

http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

 

Kathy Price

http://www.kathylprice.com

When I was in school, I had a bizarre experience involving cheating. As a preface: most of my classes were useful, and most of my teachers were dedicated. However, in a class which I shall not name, I remember an answer sheet being passed around during a ten-question quiz. The answer sheet literally went around the whole room. I had my eye on the teacher, and he seemed oblivious at his desk—either grading or reading. When the answer sheet got to me, I shook my head, indicating that I didn’t want it. “Pass it, then,” the person behind me whispered, irritated.

I shook my head again.

“Just pass it!”

By that time, the whispering got so loud that the person in front of me simply reached behind me to retrieve the answer sheet. It continued its way around the room as the teacher continued to be distracted by whatever at his desk was so captivating.

Our teacher graded the quizzes while we worked on the next activity, and then, at the end of the class, we reviewed the answers from the quiz. When the bell rang, I was asked to stay after class. I assumed my teacher was going to ask me who was in charge of passing around the answer sheet—he had to have known! But he didn’t. He asked me why I, one of his best students, had earned a 70% on the quiz when every other student earned a 100%.

At first I thought he was testing me. I couldn’t believe he was so oblivious as to not have seen the cheat sheet. But it was true—he honestly thought that the entire class had so absorbed his teachings that every student earned a 100%—except for me. It dawned on me that he was admonishing me for not studying. But in actuality, what he was admonishing me for was… not cheating.

In the past, I’d never seen much valiancy in my refusal to cheat—though I didn’t believe in cheating in school and had refused cheating many times, it was just a choice I made. But the conundrum I found myself in perplexed me. Here I was, being called a bad student when in reality I should have been praised for my honesty. I felt that my character was being assaulted, but what were my options? Did I really want to be the snitch? In the grand scheme of life, what was a ten-question quiz, or my score on it, for that matter? For a moment, the answer flashed in my mind: the rest of the class had cheated.

But my voice refused to obey.

“I was distracted,” I mumbled. This was true. “I’m also bad at multiple-choice questions.” This was also true. I could second-guess my way out of a 100% on a multiple-choice quiz any day. I finished up with an excuse involving a late-night project for AP French. All half-truths.

The story ended with me quickly re-taking the quiz (the one we had just reviewed), scoring a 90%, and receiving a pass to my next class.

But I was disturbed enough by the incident to remember it over a decade later. In a single class period, I had managed to annoy my fellow classmates and perplex my teacher—all by being honest. There was some unwritten law I was sinning against. It was surreal and disturbing.

Is cheating in schools the status quo? This particular teacher had been teaching for over 30 years. Had he subconsciously convinced himself that cheating was okay? Or was he that far removed from reality that cheating wasn’t even a possibility?

When I originally set out to write The Scarred Letter, I wanted Heather’s struggle to be set against an academic cheating ring that funneled well-connected students to college; but I was told by numerous people that no one would care enough about academic cheating to pick up the book. Thus, I decided on cheating in sports instead. Sports are something everyone can be involved in—something everyone can see. Cheating in academics is sneakier and less obtrusive. But the damage is still the same.

By cheating in school, students are making the decision that learning is not important—that the particular facts or concepts being tested do not matter. That only the grade is important. That life is a system to be gained, a game to be played.

But for me, it’s not a matter of morals in the sense that one should do what one has been taught is “right.” For me, it’s about having personal integrity—that one draws empowerment from using one’s inner strength to accomplish things in life.

In The Scarred Letter, one of the football players has been working very hard to get better at the game, but he is distressed that some of the players have taken steroids. Protagonist Heather Primm tries to convince him to come forward about the cheaters, but he feels that same social pressure that I felt—the stigma against being “the snitch.” But for Heather, it’s not about snitching. It’s about people working with and being rewarded for their inner strength. It’s about the truth. And, like me, Heather is left to wonder about the adults in charge at the school. Do the coaches really have no idea that cheating is taking place on their team, or are they turning a blind eye in favor of success?

Heather is stronger than I was in high school, but she faces consequences I avoided. Still, it strikes me that cheating—in all forms—is dependent on a societal acceptance of it When a potential cheater asks to copy homework, the student being asked can either give in to social norms (allow the cheating) or be stigmatized as a stuck-up, goody-goody snitch. In high school, when I was asked if someone could copy my homework, others sometimes answered for me: she doesn’t allow it. The way they said it made it seem like I had a horrible disease, like there was something wrong with me. I was the one doing wrong, not the cheater. In our society, and in high school especially, we make it harder to do the “right” thing than the wrong. One who stands up for the truth is subjected to gossip, ridicule, and bullying.

And that is something Heather Primm finds unacceptable. Her struggles at Orchard Valley High School attest to it.

You can read the first four chapters of The Scarred Letter for free here. While there, you can also request a preview and 35% discount coupon.