Val Muller

The Electronic Wordsmith

Welcome to the Spot Writers. Today’s contribution comes from RC Bonitz, author of DANGEROUS DECISIONS, which was released in September. The prompt for this month is “Just breathe and count to ten.”.

JUST BREATHE

by RC Bonitz

The door at Shea Security Services stood ajar when Meg O’Hara arrived for work. She eased it open a smidge and gasped at the chaos inside. Files, her office chair, pictures from the walls, even the artificial flowers from her desk, everything lay scattered on the floor.

“Just breathe and count to ten,” she said aloud and took a step into the office. “Anybody here?” she called and stood with a hand on the door, ready to flee if she heard the slightest flicker of a response. Not a whisper of a sound reached her ears.

Mike Shea’s office door was open too. She peeked inside and almost fainted. Mike lay face down on his desk, unmoving. Retreating to her desk, she dialed 911.

Hours later, as she made dinner in her apartment she reviewed the events of the day in her mind. Police had swarmed over the office, asked her eight zillion questions, most of which she couldn’t answer. They’d taken fingerprints everywhere, and basically left her in a state of mind as chaotic as the office was. Somebody had killed Mike and torn the office apart looking for something. That much was obvious. But, had they found whatever it was they’d been looking for?

Meg poured herself a glass of wine and shivered at the thought that stole into her head. What if they hadn’t found it? What would they do next?

The doorbell rang. She made sure the safety chain was on and peered through the peep hole. Somebody in a suit and tie. Probably a cop with more questions?

“Who is it?” she called.

“Police. Detctive Hanson.”

“Just a minute.”

She removed the chain. Unlocked the door and opened it cautiously. Meg saw only one thing. The barrel of the gun pointing at her.

*

DANGEROUS DECISIONS is available now. I hope you enjoy it. RC Bonitz


The Spot Writers–our members:

RC Bonitz: rcbonitz.com

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie: http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Tom Robson: http://robsonswritings.wordpress.com/

Welcome to the Spot Writers. The prompt for February is to use the following in a story: “How could she (or he) do a thing like that?”

This week’s flash fiction comes to you from Tom Robson. Check out his website/blog at www.robsonswritings.wordpress.com

***

Service

by Tom Robson

He opened the back door, took off his boots, walked through to the kitchen and there she was, hiding behind her mother who was cradling the baby, Dolly.

He’d only stopped for a couple of jars at the Miners Arms in Billy Row. That wasn’t much of a delay, but Vera had got home, walking the six mile journey from Crook, before him. His instinct was to put the fourteen year old over his knee and give her a good thrashing. Before he could make his move to pull her from behind Emma’s chair, his wife said, “Slow thisen down a bit, Tom. We’ve got it sorted. She’s going back.”

“That’s if Mrs Milburn will take her. Stupid girl might have lost me one of my gardening jobs as well by running away. If tha’s not packed thi bags our Vera, Thou’d best do it now. We’re walking back there today. D’you hear me?”

Vera cowered as she pushed past her father then ran upstairs to the room she shared with four of her sisters.

“Div’n that girl know how hard it is to find work around here. The pits laying miners off. No factory work for girls and there’s fewer families can afford to employ servants. Not that I believe in that, but now she’s out of school our Vera needs to work, even if all that’s available is slaving away for some rich lady.” Tom Oliphant ranted at his wife as she nursed the youngest and, she hoped, their last. Doreen was their tenth.

Emma knew that Vera might have ruined the opportunity to work for Mrs Milburn, one of the colliery owners wives. She feared what her volatile husband might do to Vera if the situation could not be fixed

“Sit down Tom!’ she urged. “I know you want to walk her back there today. There’s still enough daylight. Can I tell you what happened?”

Tom interrupted. “She were fine when I left, and so was Mrs Milburn. Our Vera spoke up well for hersen. Told Mrs Milburn all the things she does around here to help you cook, clean and care for the bairns. She wanted her to start work right way and I was going back with Vera’s belongings tomorrow. What did that gormless daughter of ours do to mess things up after I’d left? Has she cost me one of my gardening jobs with her feckless behaviour? How could she do a thing like that?

“Vera’s nervous face edged round the door from the hallway. ‘I am sorry, father. But as soon as you left that Mrs Milburn was horrible. Gave me a long list of things that needed doing, and then the cook wanted me to help her. And when Mrs Milburn caught me peeling potatoes instead of doing the work she’d set for me, she hit me with a broom and chased me out of the kitchen. She was screaming at me. I were crying as I were cleaning out the fireplaces in t’ bedrooms. I wanted to come home.When she checked up on me again, she said she expected me to work faster than this. When she went away, so did I. I ran back here.”

Her father cut off her elaborate explanation. “We’re working class, Vera. As long as there’s upper class controlling the money we have to do as they tell us. That’s life in the nineteen twenties. There’s talk of protest marches and hunger strikes to bring about change. But it won’t happen today, lass. Time for you to go say you’re sorry and hope she takes you back. And say it as if you mean it, just like I have to lie to those thieving sods all the time.

“I am sorry, father. If she’ll give me another chance I’ll do whatever she tells me.” said the contrite daughter.

“Trouble is, our kid, you have to do it even though you hate doing it. P’raps she’ll be a good mistress. And I know the cook, Mrs Charlton is a good sort.” Now go say your goodbyes again. I’ll carry your bag the six mile walk over the top to Crook.” complained Tom.

“And six back!” his wife chipped in. “But I bet you’ll find a pub or three to visit on the return trip. And send our Elsie in. She’s my big help now our Vera’s a working lass! I’ve made you a sandwich cos you won’t be here for tea. Now ger on, the pair of you before it’s dark.

Father and daughter set off from Tow Law over the fields and moors by Castle Bank, picking up the road, as daylight failed, through Sunniside, Billy Row and Rodimoor to the Milburn’s house.

Mrs Milburn greeted father and daughter with an icy aloofness which was melted by Vera’s tears and sobbed apology. She pleaded to be given another chance at the maid’s position her father had begged for his oldest. The lady relented and offered one final chance.

Vera Oliphant took the offer but hated her job and all the others for the ten years she was in service between leaving school in 1926 and marrying ten years later.

Nobody is quite sure what hour Tom Oliphant staggered home that night, but it was long after 10:30pm, “last orders” at the final pub he refreshed himself at on the twenty four miles he walked that day.

And Vera found it strange having a bed, and bedroom all to herself, after her first day at work.

~*~

 The Spot Writers–our members:

 RC Bonitz: rcbonitz.com

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie: https://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Tom Robson: www.robsonswritings.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the Spot Writers. The prompt for February is to use the following in a story: “How could she (or he) do a thing like that?” (Inspiration came to Cathy as a result of a recent birth; no, not mine!) This week’s flash fiction comes to you from Cathy MacKenzie. Check out her new Facebook page OUT OF THE CAVE (and the call for submissions for a horror anthology for teens).

~*~

Consequence

by Cathy MacKenzie

Nathan, rubbing his forehead, sways to and fro. “How could she do a thing like that?”

“I don’t know. Why in the world would she do that?” His problems aren’t my problems, so I don’t know why he’s asking me.

“You think I’m terrible, don’t you?”

“Not at all.” I don’t usually lie.

“But I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?”

The colour of his face alternates with blotches of red and white. “I…I don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t understand.” I sigh at his silence. “What’s not to understand? Pretty clear to me. You penetrated, you enjoyed the moment, and now there’s a consequence.”

At least I assumed he enjoyed himself.

~*~

 The Spot Writers–our members:

 RC Bonitz: rcbonitz.com

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie:https://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Tom Robson: Blog pending

Welcome to the Spot Writers. Today’s contribution comes from Val Muller, author of the kidlit mystery series Corgi Capers. Speaking of kids, Val just had one (!), and the story of her birth during an epic blizzard is one for the ages. She’s using this month’s prompt (“how could she do a thing like that?”) to tell the partial tale of the storm baby.

Stormborn

By Val Muller

“How could she do a thing like that? Is the baby really sending me into labor during the blizzard?” I clenched my fist against a coming wave of pain. “I need to call the doctor again.” I held the phone against my ear and eyed my unfamiliar surroundings. There I was, sitting on the floor in the bathroom of the apartment where I was staying—a master suite recently vacated by my friend’s college-aged son.

“Okay…” I could hear the panic in my husband’s voice, even through the phone. I imagined the look furrowed on his brow. “Okay,” he said again. That one word disguised a whole glossary of worry.

Just an hour ago, we’d had a much more pleasant conversation. He’d told me about his day—spent digging the house out from under the more than three feet of snow that had fallen thus far. I was partly glad that I’d chosen to stay with a friend in the city, away from the boonies where we lived. Not that I’d have been much help clearing snow at almost nine months pregnant. Not that I even would have attempted to help for fear of going into labor during the storm.

Instead, I’d spent the day watching TV and movies in a friend’s apartment—a friend who lived in the city, at the intersection of two emergency snow routes. You know, just in case. And yet, fate and winter seemed to be conspiring.

Silence deafened us over the phone line.

“I—I think I might be in labor,” I whispered.

“You think? You would know, though, wouldn’t you?” he asked. He sounded flat. Too flat, like he was trying to hide the emotion from his voice. What was he hiding? Worry? Disappointment?

I laughed. For months, I’d been saying I’d probably be one of those women who didn’t realize they were in labor until the baby was practically there. My pain tolerance had always been high, and despite everyone telling me that contractions were impossible to miss, I had my doubts.

“Do they still feel like cramps?” my husband asked. “Like they did this morning?”

“Yes,” I said. “But worse.” I paused. “And they’re coming in waves.”

“Oh.” He sighed. “But we were just at the doctor’s. What did he say? You had a five percent chance of delivering the baby during the blizzard. He said this would be a February baby, not a January one.”

I winced against more pain. “I’d better call.”

There was much I wanted to say, but there wasn’t time. How long would it take for 911 responders to get to me? I’d just seen a news story that with the exception of a woman who dropped dead while shoveling, all 100+ calls for hospitalization had all made it safely to the hospital during the blizzard.

The silence on the other end of the line was terrible. It screamed that my husband was afraid of missing the birth of his first child. But the pain reminded me there was no time for sentimentality. This was time for action. I hung up the phone.

My friend was in the living room, blissfully watching TV, unaware of my personal and painful struggle in the next room over. A few minutes later, after a quick call to the doctor, I stepped into the living room with a nervous laugh. My friend looked up from the television.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“The doctor said I need to call 911 and get to the hospital,” I managed before doubling over with a painful contraction.

“Wow, really?” She picked up the phone, and her eyes bulged out. Though we both knew this was a possibility—after all, that’s why I decided to stay with her in the city rather than stay with my husband in the country—we doubted it would come to this.

And yet, here we were.

After the call to 911, the evening took on a surreal quality. Maybe it was the pain, or maybe it was too close to midnight after a week of fitful sleeps and little appetite. But as the firemen entered the living room—one, two, three, four, seven, more…—my mind flashed with a delirious thought. I imagined the firemen entering the room to music, almost like the Thunder From Down Under show I’d seen advertised while visiting Las Vegas. There they were, suspenders and gear shining in the living room’s fluorescent lighting.

Several of the firemen and EMS workers introduced themselves to me, but everything blurred. I answered the same medical questions over and over again while my mind entertained itself with its Vegas-style show, thus disguising the worsening pain. One of the responders escorted me through the freshly-dug path to an awaiting heavy-duty SUV, which they needed to get me to the ambulance that was waiting on one of the main roads.

The ambulance ride was bumpy—the roads were at least passable, but barely. After getting stuck and circumventing abandoned cars, the ambulance finally made it to the hospital with worsening contractions that were only two minutes apart. The last thing I remember asking the responders on the ambulance was whether I should tell my husband to try to get to the hospital from the boonies. They warned me not to—that they had been hearing calls for side-of-the-road rescues all night, and even the best consumer-grade SUVs were getting stuck. He would miss the birth, but at least he would be safe.

What can I say? Worse things could have happened.

It was a long night, but at just before 7 in the morning, the sun came up and filled the delivery room with a golden light almost tangible, like magical liquid floating on the air. The sky cleared, and the horrible blizzard of 2016 was done. Golden sun shone against bright blue sky made more beautiful by contrast of the stark white blanket the snow had left behind. And something else had emerged that night: my daughter.

It was a long, rough night—but well worth it in the end.


 

The Spot Writers–our members:

RC Bonitz: rcbonitz.com

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie: http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Tom Robson: Blog pending

 

As many of you may know, I went into labor during the recent crippling snowstorm and had to rely on emergency personnel to transport me to the hospital. Heroes like the responders who braved the storm never get enough thanks. It’s a theme I tried to emphasize in Corgi Capers: Curtain Calls and Fire Halls, but now I have the chance to thank some real-life rescuers. Below is the letter I wrote to those who helped me make it to the hospital in time for the birth of my daughter–and to all those who keep us safe every day. The original can be found at this link: http://www.loudountimes.com/letters/article/egger_usung_heroes_provided_shelter_from_the_storm432

As we continue digging out from under feet of snow from the recent storm, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude toward the emergency services personnel of Loudoun County.

Just before midnight on January 23, I went into labor two weeks early. On a whim, I had decided to stay with a friend so that I would be closer to the hospital “just in case.” When “just in case” actually happened, I was worried about how I would possibly make it to the hospital.

With the storm having raged for more than twenty-four hours, all cars were buried, and roads were still covered. Feet seemed as insurmountable as miles in such conditions. 
  I had no choice but to call 911.

Within moments, several firefighters arrived and were busy digging out the parking lot and surrounding streets so that one of their smaller vehicles could pass through to transport me to an ambulance waiting on a main road. Though I expected to wait close to an hour for help to arrive, help arrived almost immediately. Despite treacherous road conditions and the need to circumvent abandoned vehicles, we made it to the hospital safely.

Snow lovers often think it’s fun to experience a blizzard, but many of us only think of warm blankets, hot chocolate, and movie marathons by the fire. I witnessed firsthand the dedication of the emergency workers who put their lives and comfort at risk to help others.

Thanks to their efforts, I was able to make it to the hospital in time to safely deliver a baby girl. I wish I could thank each of them by name―many did introduce themselves―but there were too many heroes involved that evening for me to have met them all. And so, I offer my gratitude to the rescue workers who dedicate themselves to helping others, come rain or hail―or 7winter storm Jonas.

Welcome to the Spot Writers. Today’s contribution comes from RC Bonitz, author of DANGEROUS DECISIONS, which was released in September. The prompt for this month is “how could he do a thing like that?”.

HOW COULD HE DO A THING LIKE THAT?

by RC Bonitz

I met her six months ago today. Mark, our Clinical Director, introduced her at the regular Tuesday morning Clinical Dept. meeting, one more social worker joining our ranks. Except she was not the typical social worker. Vera Bingham, the most striking woman I had ever seen, late twenties I guessed, flowing light auburn hair that looked like it had been permanently sun-bleached, a perfect figure, and eyes that glowed with life. She knocked my socks off.

He showed up three days later to fill our last vacant social worker position. I made the mistake of calling him Bill and got a curt, “The name is William,” for my trouble. William Rankin looked to be in his late twenties too, was about five foot eight, prematurely balding and generally non-descript. His claim to fame was that he was working on his doctorate. I was not impressed.

Vera was. As soon as we met I tried to make friends with her. I managed to join her for lunch in the café once and bought her coffee twice, but that lasted all of the three days before Mr. William showed up. The next time I tried to join her for coffee he got there before me. Join her for lunch, he was there. Sit next to her at a clinical meeting, he was there. I began to suspect they were checking with each other before leaving their offices. You know, like, “Want to go for coffee? See you in the café.”

I caught the clues. Weak chin and all, he was numero uno. I capitulated without a murmur of dissent. Can’t fight city hall as they say.

Things chugged right along, getting warmer all the time. Soon they were holding hands at clinical meetings. When he caught some flak for a technique he followed in treating an abused child, only Vera defended him.

The open question everybody on staff discussed ad infinitum was, when would they announce their engagement. Sleeping together we figured was a fait accompli.

Walking down the hall about ten fifteen this morning I met Vera coming out of Bill, er, pardon me, William’s office. Tears streamed down her face and she brushed past me in a rush, shrugging off my brief attempt to stop her.

My medieval knighthood gallantry came to the fore and I barged into William’s office.

“What was that about? What did you do to her?” I demanded.

“Nothing,” he replied, offering me a look of total innocence.

“Come off it. You did something.”

“She’s upset ’cause I told her I don’t want to get married.”

“You broke it off you mean,” I snapped.

He nodded. “She has too much hair on her arms.”

“What?”

“She has hairy arms. I can’t have that in my woman.”

I stared at him. He broke off a serious relationship because Vera had hair on her arms? How could he do a thing like that? I stared at him for a second, then turned and left his office. I’d have to add that to my “Not For Me” no dating list. No sense getting too involved with a doomed relationship.

DANGEROUS DECISIONS is available now. I hope you enjoy it. RC Bonitz


 

The Spot Writers–our members:

RC Bonitz: rcbonitz.com

Val Muller: https://valmuller.com/blog/

Catherine A. MacKenzie: http://writingwicket.wordpress.com/wicker-chitter/

Tom Robson: Blog pending

 

 

 

 

 

http://barkingrainpress.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/510x765-Padre-200x300.jpgToday I had the chance to chat with fellow Barking Rain Press author Jennifer Leeper. Jennifer is the author of  Padre: The Narrowing Path (description at bottom of post), a book I very much enjoyed. Check out Jennifer’s advice on finding inspiration for writing. Then, click the link for a free preview and coupon code for her novel. 

Inspired Words

Where do I find inspiration for my writing? It’s a question that other writers and non-writers alike ask me on a fairly frequent basis, and for every writer there is a unique answer because a writer’s inspiration is very personal. I’m going to delve into several different ways to get inspired to write, all of which fall under either passive or active inspiration umbrellas.

Passive Inspiration

For writers who would rather let inspiration materialize naturally – whether through the senses or the mind – there are many types of passive inspiration, such as:

  • Reading – Writers can learn not only how to write from reading other writers, but what to write about and whether it’s an overarching theme you want to emulate in your own fiction, or the smallest of details of another writer’s story you hope to build your own fictional world around, other writers have the power to inspire their own literary kind.
  • Go to the movies – Great films can offer great escapes, but for writers they can be launch pads for great fiction. Emotionally engaging characters, plots and dialogue can be the subconscious seeds of great storytelling on the page.
  • Take a hike – Being in nature can open a writer’s senses and mind to new ideas, and it’s even been proven that being in the great outdoors can boost creativity. A group of Outward Bound backpackers scored 50 percent higher on a creativity test following a multi-day wilderness expedition.

 Active Inspiration

 Those storytellers who prefer to play more proactive, organized roles in hunting after their inspiration can through activities such as:

  • Writing workshops – Workshops are great settings for getting the creative juices flowing, whether it comes from listening to other writers reading their works or tossing ideas back and forth with your fellow wordsmiths in stream-of-consciousness brainstorming sessions.
  • Retreat! Writers retreats combine beautiful landscapes with workshops and other structured activities where writers can proactively seek out opportunities for inspiration.
  • Enter themed writing contests – Themed contests offer concrete direction, and these set themes can even be used outside of contests for personal writing projects.

J-LeeperInspiration can be found just about anywhere, from a conversation overheard at a coffee shop to a vivid dream that compels a writer to build new worlds out of his imaginary ones so that the world that isn’t imaginary can be inspired too.

Check out where inspiration has taken me through my writing at http://barkingrainpress.org/padre-the-narrowing-path/, where you can experience my spiritual thriller Padre: The Narrowing Path. Don’t forget to stop by Barking Rain Press again in Spring 2016 to check out my short story collection, Border Run and Other Stories.

Resources: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20121212/hiking-nature-creativity

About the book:

Russell Capshaw is a successful New York advertising executive who tries to stave off his mid-life crisis with an extended drug binge in the Far East. After treatment in a detox facility in Dublin, Ireland, he pays a visit to his estranged uncle, who has recently experienced a spiritual reversion to Catholicism—a faith that Russell himself left behind in childhood. Caught up in the spell of his uncle’s quiet devotion and the lush Irish landscape, Russell finds himself drawn to a new and very different life.

After joining the priesthood and taking the name Father John, he is sent to serve the parish of the Raramuri tribe in the canyons of the Sierra Madre in Mexico. There he learns that the tribesmen are being kidnapped by the local narcotrafficantes as forced labor for their drug fields.

As the Raramuri leaders carry out raids on the drug camps to rescue their enslaved people, Father John strives to keep from getting involved by focusing on restoring the parish church and ministering to the people. But as the violence escalates, the lines between spiritual and worldly matters are stretched to the breaking point in a final, bloody showdown between the villagers and the narcotrafficantes.

Since early on in this pregnancy, Yoda has seemed highly aware that something different is happening. Whether it was “protecting” me from his sister or my husband, or following me around the house, or guarding the hallway while I shower, he has seemed to adopt a need to protect.

(Not Leia—she has been jumping on me, bounding on my stomach as if nothing has changed).

One of Yoda’s favorite hobbies over the past months has been resting his head on my belly. The “Kid” seems to be aware of his presence, kicking right under Yoda’s chin. And when Yoda moves his chin, the Kid moves her kicks to match.

Yoda feeling the kicks.

Yoda feeling the kicks.

And when Yoda does rest his head on my stomach, he seems to do so deliberately, nosing me and making eye contact as if letting me know he’s about to do it—different from his usual curl-up-next-to-me behavior (which he usually does uninvited).

It’s strange, perplexing, and amazing that this occurs. It’s as if Dog and Kid have some kind of weird prenatal communication that I am not privy to.

The thing is, the Kid ignores our other dog, me, and my husband. If it’s not Yoda, she’ll kick when she wants to. But with Yoda, she seems to wake up and “play.”

Leia copying her brother--but the Kid doesn't want to play with her!

Leia copying her brother–but the Kid doesn’t want to play with her!

With the Kid’s arrival approaching, maybe Yoda can tell her not to show up during a snow storm!

Happy Friday, everyone!

 

After hearing so much about this book, I asked for it for Christmas, and it was the first new book I read this year. I read it a bit each morning while eating breakfast. When I begin reading books this way, I usually reach a point where I take them to bed with me and finish the last half or so in one sitting.

That was not the case with this book. Although I enjoyed it, I felt detached from the characters and was hoping for more gruesome or creepy twists and characters. Now don’t get me wrong. It was a good book. I think the curse of it was that I had heard so much praise about the book that my expectations were way too high. If I had heard nothing about the book beforehand, I probably would have been much more impressed. Sorry for the paradox.

The novel primarily follows a woman named Rachel. Without giving away too many details, Rachel is an unreliable narrator because she drinks too much. There are things she can’t remember, and as the reader I never felt sure I could trust her completely. Rachel takes a train each day and watches people and houses pass by, taking particular interest in the neighborhood where she used to live with her ex-husband. When a disappearance/murder takes place in the neighborhood, Rachel feel compelled to help, contacting the police with her observations and even interacting with the suspects.

The novel is told primarily through Rachel’s first person (very limited, especially with blackouts caused by drinking) point of view, though a few other women step in from time to time to narrate a section or two. The book is 322 pages, so it wasn’t excessively long, but I felt that parts at the beginning dragged just a bit. I went along with it, assuming the author was building up to something important about Rachel. In my mind, I had all kinds of theories, and each of them was creepier and more disturbing than what actually happened.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s a good book, and I have tastes that tend to run darker than average, so for me, the suspense in my mind was scarier than reality. I would still recommend it to readers wanting a thriller that’s sort of like a Hitchcock film with a female perspective. Themes of marriage, divorce, children and childlessness, and happiness in work/home life balance kept emerging. In that sense, the three main female characters started to blend together for me just a bit, and I’m not sure how a male reader would receive the novel.

This was Hawkins’ debut novel, so I look forward to seeing what else she has in store for us. I hope she goes even creepier next time!

Teaching English literature, I often encounter the theme of life versus art. Does art mirror life? Does life mirror art?

I awoke to a shock this week—like millions of others—to learn that David Bowie had passed away after an 18-month-long battle with cancer. As he kept his life relatively private, none of his fans were aware of his illness. In fact, I had just added his newest CD, Blackstar, to my Amazon wishlist (I have since purchased it). And I had just watched the newest video he released, “Lazarus,” and pondered why it seemed so morbid.

David Bowie has been a favorite artist of mine for decades. Though I am not quite old enough to be able to claim that I have followed him from the start, I followed him from as early as possible. I have always admired him as a talented singer whose voice adds emotion and meaning and depth that moves beyond the mere lyrics of a song. I’ve admired his entrepreneurial nature in a business sense and in the sense that he constantly rebranded himself into different personas. His music never grew stale; his albums always pushed boundaries and experimented with new techniques and styles—something refreshing when the Hollywood model of creating more of the same (mediocrity) seems to prevail.

Bowie reminds me of one of my favorite television shows, Doctor Who, in that the Doctor regenerates every few seasons, played by a new actor with a new “spin” on the character’s personality—always changing, always growing, never fading—and thus keeping the character fresh. In some ways, Bowie and his various personas has done this over the decades. (Because of this connection, it had always been a hope of mine that Bowie would emerge to guest star on one of the episodes…)

What I especially admire, though, is how Bowie must have known about his impending death, and he refused to go quietly into the night. Instead, he did what he’s always done—he drew inspiration and created art. Watching the music video “Lazarus” again—this time after his death—brought chilling new meaning. In the video, Bowie is bedridden, a bandage over his eyes, and he seems heatedly to reach for a pen and scribble inspired words onto a page. With a skull on the table and an ominous closet into which he retreats at the end, the symbolism involved in his death is obvious. And the lyrics—mentioning him having unseen scars, “now in heaven,” having drama, being now known by everyone, and being free like a bluebird now—allude to his death. Even knowing his end, Bowie made art out of life. The video is a gift for his fans, showing that Bowie kept that human spirit until the end.

So why am I writing about the death of one of my favorite artists in a “Fantastic Friday” post? Bowie kept terminal cancer to himself (and only close loved ones) for eighteen months. All the while, he was still creating art. This sort of thing puts any of my problems into perspective. So I’m eight and a half months pregnant and have been complaining about feeling too zapped to do much novel writing lately. How can I be inspired when I have a ticking-human-time-bomb feeding off my resources, and my whole world about to change?

In fact, you may have noticed I have not been posting every Friday. Some weeks I’ve been claiming that I’m too zapped to write something inspirational or celebratory. Or too worried. After all, anything could go wrong in these last few weeks.

And that’s right—it can.

Anything could go wrong with any of us at any time.

And so what?

Witnessing the genius of Bowie’s last video—and listening to some of the lyrics in Blackstar and thinking about how they relate to Bowie making art out of his own inevitable end (all of our ends are inevitable)—has been incredibly inspirational to me.

Over Bowie’s career, the theme of stars and outer-space and extraterrestrial life has been a motif. I’ve been thinking about the fact that we’re all stardust, really. Ashes and dust. We’re given time here on earth, as humans. We don’t know how much time, and we don’t know the quality of our health during the time we have. But we are given time to be trapped in these human bodies. We can choose only what to do with that time. To sit and complain and worry and wait and hope, or to go out and do.

It’s up to us to create the vision of who we are. And like Bowie, we’re allowed to redefine that vision from time to time. The important thing is that we’re an active in our lives, that we are the drivers, the ones who react to what life throws our way. When we’re gone, we’ll be remembered by what we leave behind. As David Bowie tells us in “Lazarus,” “Everybody knows me now.”

And no one remembers those who simply sit, and worry, and wait.